I want a new drug....

No one asked me if I wanted to have a disease.  Not only that, but I wasn’t consulted to find out what type of disease I wanted to have.  There are days when I’d like to trade in my diabetes for another model.  Today is one of those days.

What features would I want my new model to have?  Oh, there are so many.  

·       First of all, I’d love for my disease to come without guilt.  Despite the knowledge I have gained throughout my years with diabetes, I still suffer from guilt now and then.  My sensitive psyche doesn’t need guilt.

·       How about a disease with just one treatment plan?  One that works for most everyone.  One that doesn’t change every frickin day.  A treatment plan that allows you to learn what you’re supposed to do and it stays that way; no one changes the rules.

·       A disease that brings on occasional sympathy from others might be nice, as opposed to one that tends to cause people to think that I did this to myself.  Wait, scratch that, I don’t I want people feeling sorry for me.  It would be nice, however, if they didn’t judge.

·       Is there a disease that gives you a break now and then?  One that just goes away for a spell?  I doubt that, but wouldn’t it be nice?

·       Let’s see, a disease that awards brownie points for stellar achievement would be peachy!  I know that when I’m really good with my food plan and exercise that I’m giving myself brownie points for future health, but it doesn’t feel that way today.

·       A disease that I didn’t have to think about every single day would be lovely.  I doubt that exists either, but I’m asking for the dream so I might as well think big.

Wow, I’m being such a whiner today!  After reading over my list, I feel somewhat better.  I mean, it could be so much worse than it is.  In reality, my diabetes is fairly well controlled.  I was diagnosed before I had any symptoms and my general health is really good.  It could be so much worse.  Why am I complaining?  Because today I feel crappy, mentally.  Today I feel sorry for myself.  Rather than hiding in my bed under the blankets, I thought that writing about this would make me feel better.  It has.  It has made me look at myself and say, “Snap out of it and get on with your day!”  I’m doing really well, in retrospect, and I can continue doing that.  So can anyone else out there who has to deal with diabetes!  You can do this too!!  Regardless of what our plan is, regardless of how we handle our individual diabetes, we can do this!  I really do feel better.