CCcchanges!

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about how I’m doing living with diabetes.  I like to think that I have pretty good control, but upon closer examination it feels more like I’ve just been bailing faster than the water is coming in.  I suppose that’s a victory of sorts but I feel like I could do better.

I remember, back when I was first diagnosed, that horrible feeling of helplessness; that idea that my world would have to change dramatically; the confusion about just what it was I needed to do.  I started out with diet and exercise as my plan without any medication.  It felt like maybe it wasn’t so bad after all but I still wasn’t sure just what to do.

I’m a carboholic, like many people are.  I crave carbs and have been known to stuff myself with “bad carbs”. Heck, if we’re being truthful here, this has happened recently! (I never said I was perfect.)  I also enjoy sweets, but not to the same extent as  pasta/bread/potatoes.  In fact, I’m pleased to note that since I have been living the diabetic lifestyle, my cravings for sweets has diminished!  Now when I eat something sweet it just doesn’t float my boat the same way it did 10 years ago.  My initial thoughts when I was first diagnosed were how can I continue to eat what I love? Instead of planning to cut things out of my diet I tried to figure out how to keep them in.  This is a good thing unless you are a carboholic who lacks will power.

I do pretty well for the most part, as I indicated at the start of this post, but I think it’s time for a change; a shift in my thinking.  Maybe it’s time to promote to the next grade level in the “I’m-a-person-with-diabetes-for-life” school.

I think the most important step I can take at this time is to evaluate my relationship with food.  It’s pretty dysfunctional, if you want to know the truth.  It controls me and then I get all offended and regain control.  I sometimes put it on a pedestal and then hurt myself climbing up to get it.  Occasionally I view it as the enemy; an enemy with which I have to negotiate some sort of peace treaty.  

What’s the reality?  The reality is that food is a necessary fuel which my body needs to function.  It’s a necessary, wonderful, scrumptious, damn I love it, way-better-than sex nearly anything, fuel.  It’s time for me to re-negotiate the terms of my living arrangement with food.  I need to stop finagling to fit difficult foods into my plan and, instead, find healthier things to eat that I will enjoy.

Starting now I plan to revamp the way I’m eating and find tasty, healthy foods to eat to replace the carb-rich foods I’m addicted to.  Here’s hoping I succeed.