When I am a crone...

With apologies to  Jemmy Joseph (When I am an old Woman)

When I am a Crone, I shall wear my pentacle,
With dangling earrings that tickle my shoulders, and suit me just fine.
And I shall spend my savings on books and charity and wine,
And say we’ve no time to waste, and still fight against iniquity.

I shall sit at peace whenever I wish should my load grow heavy,
And reach out to my Goddess, and she shall give me the strength to go on.
I’ll push the tummies of dozens of stuffed animals to make them sing at once
And leap with abandon onto displays of beds with cushy pillows in the stores,
Laughing until the tears come, and smiling at those watching me, wishing they could do the same.

I shall go out naked in the rain to dance in the dark in my garden,
Caressed by the fragrant rosemary and lavender and patchouli,
And affirm it matters not how old I am, or what I weigh, or if my hair is grey -
Because my Goddess loves me, and I smell wonderful.

I can wear socks with patterns that don’t match my cape,
And eat three pounds of chocolate if I wish,
Or only water, almonds and apples for a week,
And hoard beads and charms and purring cats, and be called eccentric.

Still, we must have our homes, and clothes to keep us warm and dry,
And pay our bills on time, and keep our word of honor,
And so set good examples for our children
By being the best Daughters of the Goddess we can be, every day.

There is no need for me to practice at this, though…
As I have made my way and am proud of who I’ve become,
And people who know me are never too shocked and surprised by what I do,
Because they know me as a Crone, and I proudly wear my pentacle

It's a Status..NOT your Diary!!!!

I love Facebook. I am absolutely addicted. It is a great place to keep up with family and friends. It offers the chance to keep up with current events and you may even find out points of view of your friends and family that you would not have, otherwise, discovered. From news, to entertainment, to what the heck is everyone doing on Friday, it is available in one place. I like to use my personal Facebook very lightheartedly, for the most part. At least once a day, I am stunned at what people will post on their Facebook pages. I know that, for those that are diligent about their privacy settings, these postings are only viewable by their closest 387 friends but I still urge you to take a second and consider the following before you hit that “enter” key.
 
1) No one really needs to know about the activity of your bowels.
Seriously. It’s totally  gross. Whether they are inactive or overactive, it is too darn much information. What is the point of sharing this with hundreds of people?
2) Sharing about your children’s potty  habits is just as disgusting.
Telling all of your friends that little Janie’s ass exploded in her diaper and describing in any detail about how much, how far down her legs it ran or how much laundry you had to do as a result is more than we ever needed to know. I assure you, little Janie will be horrified that you shared this information one day.
3) Your friends/family don’t need to know EVERY detail about your pregnancy, labor or childbirth.
Sharing stories about cravings, bitching about weight gain or baby movements, etc is fine. You do not, however, need to tell us about things like your mucous plug, leaking breasts, bloody show, sweeping membranes or how many fingers your doctor got into your vadge during the cervical exam. Give us the abridged, family friendly version.

 

Hey! I just started my period!


4) Every random thought or action you make throughout the day.

10:30am- Just had breakfast. Oatmeal and toast. nom nom nom
10:54am- I forgot to get trash bags at the store!
11:47am – at the store, getting trash bags!
12:49pm- I love Ellen show
3:20pm- It’s hot outside.
3:32pm- wish I had a pool
4:49pm-Gotta make dinner
5:36pm-dinner smells good!
6:07pm- dinner is delicious! (complete with picture)
7:00pm- nothing on TV
8:11pm- getting tired *yawn*
8:30pm-struggling to keep eyes open
8:45pm-changed into jammies
9:02pm- going to bed. GN FB!

Is that really necessary? Why do people think that anyone wants to know every  move you make or every thought that passes through your head. If you are bored while living that stuff, what makes you think READING about it would be entertaining?"Watching the paint dry" would be more interesting. Take that to twitter!! Now do not get me wrong, I think its nice to say goodnight especially if you are interacting with people, but...do I have have to have the previous 3 statements about you being tired??

5) Your relationship drama
You can’t wait to kissy and cuddle your hunky schmoopy poo? Don’t post that on his/her Facebook page, mmmkay??. Send it in a text or make a personal phone call.  Why do you think the world needs to be privy to this ridiculousness? Keep the pillow talk to yourselves, especially if it involves baby talk and stupid pet names.  My favorites are those that have to say “cuddling with the hubby and watching a movie”. Here’s a novel idea: Why don’t you put down your iPad or smart phone and actually spend time with your significant other. Facebook will still be there in 92 minutes when your movie is over!


On the other side of the same coin, there is couples drama. Now, I won’t go so far as to discourage this because, well, it is totally entertaining. If you want to hash out your disagreement for everyone to see, I won’t tell you to stop. I’m going to pop some popcorn and sit back and hope for fireworks! Put on a good show and I will even ‘like’ my favorite comments. Consider those clicks to be my votes for the ‘winner’ of the argument. (Don’t mistake my amusement or participation for approval. You are making complete asses of yourselves. I, like most other people, just can’t take my eyes off a train wreck.


6) How BUSY, BUSY you are.
You’ve posted three statuses in 2 hours about how you have so much work to do, so much paperwork, so much organizing, you never have enough time to get anything done because the boss, or your homework or your kids have you completely overwhelmed and you barely have time to take a potty break. In between posting those status updates and comments, you have achieved a new high score in Bejeweled, shared some Youtube funnies and commented on pictures from last weekend.

7) Vaguebook posts
I have a couple of friends that are notorious for this one. (coughAmandacough) The status usually is three words or less and leaves you wondering what the heck they are referring to and if they are in some sort of distress. Some examples are:
“THIS ISN’T HAPPENING!” (which you later find out was a response to the American Idol results show)
“Wow. Just wow.” (turns out, some one cut them off in the parking lot of work)


8)Using facebook to blow up someone's life:This is not the Maury show, you shouldn’t (or should you?) use Facebook to tell the man you slept with that the baby is or isn’t his. This actually happened. Let’s say a guy, “Kevin”, cheated on his girlfriend with another woman, “Tonya.” Tonya ends up pregnant – but due to her also sleeping around, she doesn’t know who the father is. Eventually, she used Facebook to tell Kevin that the baby wasn’t his. Just all-of-a-sudden, right there on his wall one night, “The baby isn’t yours.” I guess since it was ‘good news’, it would be okay to use Facebook? Kinda like the GYN, mails you a totally-easy-to-sneak-read card if it’s okay, but makes a personal phone call if it’s bad. – Better yet, it turns out it WAS Kevin’s baby, which she later posted, also on his page. Their wedding is in a couple of months. I couldn’t make this shit up.Kevin’s mother is very happy for the couple. No, really, she is. I’m being serious. Other family members have told her the details, but she is acting like it’s the best thing he world. Meanwhile, her other son is a ‘disappointment’ since, you know, he’s living with a girl before he marries her.

Have I left anything out????

Tribes, Families, and Relatives

I admit  it, I am a Facebook junkie.  I check in several times a day.  In fact, while I am writing this I have a window to FB open.  I have  noticed that people are pretty quick to identify themselves with titles-Christian Mom, Nurse Julie......I wonder, when we identify as one particular genre, do people judge us with stereotypes?  If I say I am Muslim, will everyone assume that I hate all Americans, all Christians and all Jews?  If I say that I am Nurse April, will everyone just assume I know all about every health problem out there?  If I say I am a a  "dancer" will they assume that because I take my clothes off for money, I also sleep with men for money?  I don’t define myself by how I look, what I believe, or how I spend my time. I am not my job. I am not my religion. I am not the four years I spent getting my  degree in Nursing. I am not my  marriage. I am not my mistakes or my successes. All such things began as choices, bricks in the wall of myself.
I am 44 years of age, and I have no close relatives.  My sister and brothers live on the other side of the country.  I have a hand full of cousins I have not seen since I was 16. My mother and father have passed out of this life.This doesn’t mean I don’t have family – I do. There are those in my life I can depend upon to be there for me when I need them. They are members of my Clan, and we don’t have to share blood to be related by respect, love and loyalty. We are family by choice, and we cherish one another. I pity those people who feel required to have relationships with “relatives” who abuse them simply because they “share a family tree.” I ache for those locked into relationships without hope, where love has died and violence has bloomed, because that’s what they are “supposed” to do.Pressure and guilt does not a family make. Pull the weeds, and dispose of them. Grow your own Clan. You do not need to be alone unless you wish it.

I am currently on medical leave from a full time job.  I work Monday through Thursday from 3pm to Midnight. I wish I didn't have to work, who doesn't? But I am building a future with my husband, so it's a good idea to keep saving up money.At least I love what I do, and what I do helps people.
I’d adore having loads of time to sit with my family, chatting at the kitchen table as I prepare a meal… or relaxing on a wraparound porch, watching the world go by… or casually rocking on a swing beneath evergreens, blue skies peeking through fluffy white clouds above us, with coffee and wine abundant, comparing notes, lives, dreams, fears. Or curled up on the love seat with Mutty, kntting a pile of dishcloths as we watch Lost Girl together.
There is a joyful chaos in my life right now. It feels like a water globe, one with shiny, colorful beads floating in a thick, clear fluid, rolling over and over, seeing which multi-faceted bead comes out on top for a time, until tilted again… and again. My brain is full, but I am happy.
All those of you who have positively impacted my heart over the years have become unique and priceless family members… the double-handful of people I DO call my family, and we are a household, a partnership, a TRIBE. We are a support system of love and respect for one another, and because of that, none of us need fear the future. We have one another. We are SOULMATES, puzzle-pieces which flow one into another, making us WHOLE, allowing us to meet one another’s needs. Money? Food? Emotional support? I’m there, you can count on it.
Just the same, there are those others I’ve met throughout my life. Wicked, evil, ignorant people who disgust me, who have disappointed me, who may laugh to think that they did something that caused me pain. The bullies. The liars. The thieves. The cheaters. The ones who deliberately caused pain to those I love. I count you out of my life for now, but only until the day comes when I am there to tap you on your shoulder and quietly ask, “Remember me?” as I watch the color drain from your cheeks.
But then there are others, those who may not have meant to cause pain. They are, somehow… different.
I must admit, in spite of the things that they have done, I miss them, and probably will love them forever, even if it hurts. The problem? I doubt I can trust them again. Sometimes, I ache for them… for who they were to me… for who we were to one another. Ah, such a shame, such a loss.
In fact, some of them may be reading this, right now.
Have any of you read LESTAT? Do any of you remember the last battle, where Lestat and his companions are holed up, waiting for their enemies to come… and something… someone crosses their security line… approaching them, not trying to hide… just… coming… toward them… slowly, out in the open? I wonder how many of you experienced the feelings I did, when it turned out to be LOUIS. Darling Louis, barefoot, in jeans and a sweater, hands thrust deep into his pockets. My heart turned upside-down. It’d been years since he’d seen Lestat… but he knew where he had to be when the chips were down. He knew which side was his, and why… and he was there.
That’s all I have to say.

Marriage Counselling 101

I often hear people say that the secret to a happy marriage is “trust”, “respect”, “shared interests”, “spending quality time together”, etc.  Well, that is a load of “”ka-ka”! Ask a divorcee.  Most will tell you that they had (or thought they had) some, if not all, of these characteristics or efforts within their previous marriage(s).  Few will say they thought they had anything but a normal, average marriage before deciding to purchase their ticket to the “Big D”.
Trust-Seriously?  Do you really need someone to tell you that you should trust the person you marry?  If you can’t trust someone, you shouldn’t be friends with them, much less have sex with them and/or commit to spend the rest of your life and possibly raise children with said person.  If you need this explained to you, please remove yourself from the gene pool.
Respect-Sure, you should respect one another.  Respect is such a broad term, though.  My husband can tick me off like no one else can and vice versa.  If I get annoyed and tell him he is an jerk or he tells me stop obsessing, obviously we are not being respectful but if you are willing to throw in the towel because you or your spouse lost your cool and called you a name, you need to grow the up.  I respect my marriage, regardless of whether I am angry with my husband or living in wedded bliss.  I took vows, among those I vowed to love him in sickness and in health, I vowed to love him for richer or poorer, I vowed to be faithful, I even vowed not to ever touch his power tools.  I never took any vow not to get upset or angry at him.
Shared interests-You can shove this one!  I am not going to even try to give a dang about Live action RPF computer games, Talk News Radio, or House renovation tv shows.  In return, I will not expect him to give a flip about yarn, real life crime shows, or paranormal romance books.  He is also not expected to notice when I have my hair done or when I am wearing a new outfit.  As a matter of fact, it is preferential that he not notice so that I am not expected to answer any questions about spending.  Everyone is happy.
Spending quality time together-This does not take that much effort, people.  Men:  Exchanging bodily fluids does not, in and of itself, constitute “quality time”.
The fact is, people, some of that shit I listed above is important but do you really need to be told not to have sex with other people or to spend time with one another?  If you do, you are doomed.  I am going to tell you the real secret.  You want a happy husband?  Here is the key:  LOW EXPECTATIONS. 

Do you have the house spotless and dinner on the table every night when hubby gets home?  Well, stop that crap right now!!  Depending on how long you have been acting like Donna Reed, it may take you a little more time to reset his expectations.

*When you do this crud every dang day, you and your efforts get taken for granted.  It becomes expected and, most often, your husband’s expectations increase at a more accelerated rate and he has the audacity to begin expressing disappointment, like “I was hoping you would make mashed potatoes and gravy from scratch” or “this would have been better with a little more pepper.” or “is the vacuum not working today?”.  When that happens, I want you to squash the urge to slap him with the chicken breast you have hand seasoned and marinated all day and strangling him with the vacuum cord.  You have no one to blame but yourself for his inflated expectations and resulting insulting advice.  You can fix this, though.  It is not too late.  You have to decide, here and now, that you are committed to retraining him.  Men are like lumps of clay.  They can be molded and remolded.  If you let him sit for a while molded in a particular way, you may have to pound it a little harder or knead it a little longer but, rest assured, he can be reshaped.  Let tears and sex be your sculpting tools.



This house is never spotless.  I have a full time job and 5 pets.  I pick up the living room, seemingly, just to make more room for these little tornadoes to destroy.  Guess what, if you think that I suck at housekeeping, I don’t care.  If you think my floors could be cleaner, feel free to grab a vacuum.  If you see I missed a spot or 10 on my counters, grab a sponge.  If you expect this place to sparkle and for me to greet you with my hair pefectly coiffed, wearing makeup and pearls, you married the wrong woman.  If I want to look nice, I will put on a bra.  That is dressing up.
If you come home and smell something burning, dinner is ready!  If not, feel free to help yourself to leftovers, make a sandwich or have cereal.
The 2-3 times a week that I do make an actual dinner, it is like Christmas for my husband.  WhenI I actually get the house to look really nice, he notices.  You see, I keep his expectations low and he appreciates and acknowledges those things that Donna Reed’s husband takes for granted every day.   He is happy because he has a giant hunk of delicious roast on his plate and I am happy because he can’t stop telling me what a wonderful cook I am.
This, my friends, is the key to a successful marriage.  You can thank me later.  Now, start pounding that man clay.

It's really ALL about Me!

Just about  everyone has a blog nowadays. I finally decided that it is time for me to join the craze. What will I write about? Well I am not quite sure just what will come out but I expect I will write about my life, my ups and downs, my thoughts and opinions and perhaps I will share some finds from other blogs. There are always wonderful things out there that people are asking to be shared. My hopes for this blog is that I will become more disciplined about writing and I commit to update it at least twice a week which means that I will need to learn to start taking pictures especially if I am planning on sharing my fur-babies with you all.

A little about me.  I am 44, married to Mutty and sharing a home in the Pacific Northwest with 3 cats and 2 dogs. ( I am sure you will hear about them from time to time.) I work full time as a registered nurse with medically fragile kids.  I am currently on medical leave with a host of issues (you will probably hear about them in the future as well!) In my "down-time" I am an avid reader, multi-tasking crafter, baker, and wannabe writer.  I am an extroverted introvert. I like to be left alone most of the time, and usually am a wall flower. But, get me  in the midst of well known friends and family and I can be pretty boisterous.  

Today is Sunday  and it is a rather nice one.  The skies are blue and cloudy, Currently the sun is out, but being the pac-northwest that means that any minute now the rain might start to fall!  Thank goodness that it has been warm enough though to open up the house. It doesn't seem to matter how much Febreeze I spray when the house is closed up for the winter, it starts to smell rather doggy. Speaking of doggy, Doppler, my youngest, a greyhound /lab mix seems to have taken an affinity to tearing up his couch bed every chance he gets.  When I wake up each morning it is to usually find the couch cushions scattered in the living room amid clumps of stuffing.  I wonder if that Caesar the dog whisperer guy could come and find out why Doppy feels the need to do this?  It isn't like he lacks for toys! From my seat here at the PC I can see 4 tennis balls, 2 kong toys, a ball and a stuffed flea toy!

I enjoy the sunny days.  Sometimes it feels as if they are few and far between.  Even though I am stuck getting around in the wheelchair, I can drag my knitting bag or Kindle outside to relax and catch a few rays.  People in my neck of the woods tend to be a bit deficient in Vitamin D.Maybe that is why the Cullen vamps all sparkled?  At least a rainy day makes for one that I can curl up in my chair and play on the internet. I really should be working on a book that I am writing,  but I can't seem to find the ambition today. What is it about a cloudy Sunday that seems to suck the drive right of a person? Here I have a list of things to do and I can't seem to bend my mind around any of them. So I sent the DH off to his office to play an online RPG  game and I am here with a cuppa tea and chatting with you all.I think this looks like a pretty good first post.  I have covered all the bases, who I am, what I want to do with my blog, how often you will see updates,and I have introduced you to one of my babies.If I achieve nothing else productive today at least I have this!